I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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