so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
