I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
oh god was she eating orange peels again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
