@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
