I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
