remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
