Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
