theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
