Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So here I am, sexting at work.
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