I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
