let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
