so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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