Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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