Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
