it was like his penis was on wheels.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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