I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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