I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
