She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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