new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
