im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
