I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
