yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
