ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
