why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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