A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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