this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
