Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
