But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
