I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize