i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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