he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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