Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
