Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
