Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
where am i from again
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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