it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize