When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
