I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
