Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
