Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
