Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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