Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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