My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
