She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How's work?
Spinning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
