Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
