chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
