I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
