Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
