hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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