Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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