I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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