Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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