talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
