so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
