Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Holy shit dude........stairs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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