I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
